Jessi Jean

to live is to dream with eyes wide open.

I wasn’t going to tell you…

                Because it really, really hurt.

I sat on my living room floor in a lake of tears for an hour after getting that email. Then I got this text message from my dad:

                “When one door closes another door opens. Don’t ever let one NO stop you from your dreams! You have got everything it takes to do anything you want Jessi. I truly, truly believe that.”

I painted again; I was infused with emotion and needed to let it out… I needed to create, dream, and express myself. This creation was inspired by an inner passion, determination, and ambition.

Its name: Relentless

 With big dreams comes big obstacles…

I didn’t get the internship with 9NEWS. I was crushed…hours and hours went into the application process, interviewing, hoping, praying, waiting…and I didn’t get it. But in the middle my tear-fest I was reminded of this truth: God has it all under control. He knows where he wants me and he will shut the doors to where he doesn’t want me. Does it hurt…Yes.  But does that mean I will let go of my dreams of getting into broadcasting…NEVER! I’m just that much more driven now. I can’t expect that I won’t face challenges, adversity, and closed doors.

Success is a measure of perseverance…Those who are the most successful have often experienced the most failure, persevered through, and tried again!

 

I questioned my pursuit for a minute…”Is this right? Is this what I should be doing?” And then, almost immediately PASSION flooded my heart. Determination…Perseverance… I’ve wanted to be a sports reporter since I was a freshman in high school. I did a project on it that year and was very discouraged as my research revealed what an extremely competitive field it was. For the next 6 years I denied my dream and pursed many different avenues, none of which filled me with as much drive and excitement as reporting did.

God has brought me to a place of humility…Not every door I push will swing wide open but one will in His perfect timing. I can say honestly that I am thrilled, more driven than before, and continuing confidently in the direction of my dreams! I am happy to say that because of Christ in me, I was able to sit in that lake of tears two nights ago and have an inner peace… an unexplainable joy. I was able to thank God because of the hope he has given me in his perfect plan.

“Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances,

 for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

– 1 Thessalonians 5:18

So today, I am going at it harder than I did yesterday and I am excited to see what happens!

God is good. All the time.

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7 thoughts on “I wasn’t going to tell you…

  1. Oh Jess, I’m so sorry!! It’s hard, but you are so right and your story reminds me of my own with dance… It’s so easy for us to think of how the plan should look, and when something doesn’t go according to our “perfectly” schemed plan, we are shaken. But knowing God has our back and is working with us, not against us, helps remind us that maybe, just maybe, another more PERFECT plan is in place… if we simply allow it to unfold. Not easy, but Truth. 🙂

    Love you girl!!
    J 🙂

    • Oh thank you so much Jessi! You are the best and your words are so encouraging. It is hard, but like you said, God has our back! And that is exciting! I know dance has been a challenge for you…with all the obstacles that have been thrown at you but your perserverance has truly been an inspiration to me. Please know how much I look up to you and your “un-relenting attitude!” You are such a go-getter. Love you too!

  2. Peggy Cowan on said:

    Yes, my dear, He IS good ALL the time. In all things, give thanks to the Lord. Pray continually. Mom

  3. Sweet Angel Bestie,

    I know you know, obviously.. based off of your beautiful blog, but we (the people that ADORE you) are proud of you and you will get this! If not 9news then another one. A better fitting one. Maybe a place where your light will shine brighter, or where relationships can be built on more of a common ground. He is always at work. I am thankful for your Daddy, for his true and needed words at the right time. I am sorry I couldn’t give you a big hug when you needed it. I love you so much. I believe in you and I am proud of the drive you are putting into this dream. We will celebrate big time on the day when it.. what “it” may be, comes. You’re beautiful.

    • Thanks cage!!! You are seriously so encouraging. I never thought of the fact that maybe my light wouldn’t shine as bright at 9News, and maybe I could be used more effectively else where. Thanks for pointing that out, it really helps! My daddy is an amazing man and I am thankful for him too! Thank you for believing in me and being proud of me it really REALLY means a lot! I cannot wait to put my arms around you and celebrate with you the victories to come! Love you bestie

  4. My darling Jessi Jean.

    First off, 9News will soon realize that they have missed out on the BEST intern they could have ever had. Jessi you are a smart, driven, classy, BEAUTIFUL girl, so why wouldn’t they want you representing them? Clear mistake.

    Second, God is good…. ohhh so good! I would have never known this if it weren’t for YOU and all that you have taught me. He has something MUCH bigger in mind that you might not even be aware of yet!

    Third, your artwork is wonderful! At least something beautiful came out of this!!

    Finally, I love you and always will and I’m here for you forever!

    p.s. I’m switching to News 4 😉

    • Oh Dana, you are so stinkin’ sweet. This made me want to cry and laugh all at the same time. Thank you for your encouragement. Your friendship has seriously meant the world to me! God has definitely blessed my life with you. The way you have grown and sought out who God is has been so incredible to watch.

      Yes, the artwork has been fun!!! Wish I had more time to do that all the time…lol. Thanks for the compliment!

      I love you too and I appreciate you being here for me. Without friends like you these kind let-downs would be a lot harder. And yeah, I think I’ll switch to News 4 too!!! hahahahah

      Love you and Happy thanksgiving. I am thankful for you

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