I wasn’t going to tell you…
Because it really, really hurt.
I sat on my living room floor in a lake of tears for an hour after getting that email. Then I got this text message from my dad:
“When one door closes another door opens. Don’t ever let one NO stop you from your dreams! You have got everything it takes to do anything you want Jessi. I truly, truly believe that.”
I painted again; I was infused with emotion and needed to let it out… I needed to create, dream, and express myself. This creation was inspired by an inner passion, determination, and ambition.
Its name: Relentless
With big dreams comes big obstacles…
I didn’t get the internship with 9NEWS. I was crushed…hours and hours went into the application process, interviewing, hoping, praying, waiting…and I didn’t get it. But in the middle my tear-fest I was reminded of this truth: God has it all under control. He knows where he wants me and he will shut the doors to where he doesn’t want me. Does it hurt…Yes. But does that mean I will let go of my dreams of getting into broadcasting…NEVER! I’m just that much more driven now. I can’t expect that I won’t face challenges, adversity, and closed doors.
Success is a measure of perseverance…Those who are the most successful have often experienced the most failure, persevered through, and tried again!
I questioned my pursuit for a minute…”Is this right? Is this what I should be doing?” And then, almost immediately PASSION flooded my heart. Determination…Perseverance… I’ve wanted to be a sports reporter since I was a freshman in high school. I did a project on it that year and was very discouraged as my research revealed what an extremely competitive field it was. For the next 6 years I denied my dream and pursed many different avenues, none of which filled me with as much drive and excitement as reporting did.
God has brought me to a place of humility…Not every door I push will swing wide open but one will in His perfect timing. I can say honestly that I am thrilled, more driven than before, and continuing confidently in the direction of my dreams! I am happy to say that because of Christ in me, I was able to sit in that lake of tears two nights ago and have an inner peace… an unexplainable joy. I was able to thank God because of the hope he has given me in his perfect plan.
“Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
– 1 Thessalonians 5:18
So today, I am going at it harder than I did yesterday and I am excited to see what happens!
God is good. All the time.