A Bittersweet Fall.

SWEET:

Those little glittery snowflakes are absolutely mesmerizing…They finally fell from the Fort Collins sky last night. I was beginning doubt winter would ever come as we hadn’t seen a flake yet and it’s already November 11^th.

My favorite season is winter!

I love everything about the snow. I grew up in a log cabin that was heated with a wood burning fire place; the crackle of the fire and the view of the snow covered mountains did something to me. I just loved it. I love that a warm cup of hot coco tastes exponentially better when the snow is falling and that you can cuddle by the fire with a good book and be content for hours. I love that you can make snow angles, and snowmen, and throw snow balls at each other. I LOVE that the snow has a way of slowing down the world…Traffic moves slower, school is delayed or better yet… closed.

But more than anything I love that you can strap toys to your feet and play all day long in the snow!!!!

SNOWBOARDING is one of my absolute favorite hobbies. The freedom I feel when I am shredding the mountain is like nothing else I have ever experienced. I do not have a care in the world when I am on the mountain… Maybe it’s because the majestic views demand my attention and steal my breath away. My adventurous spirit feels fully alive when I have a board strapped to my feet… Daring myself to go faster and try new jumps and tricks is such a thrill. I love the risk involved.

BITTER:

For the past 6 years I have gotten a season pass, so that I could satisfy the craving all winter long. However, this year my schedule is jammed packed…Classes, the Eagles Internship, Bible study, training to be a reporter, pursing a job with the Rockies….on and on the list goes. So, this will be the first season in last 6 years that I will not be getting a pass. Watching the snow fall reminds me of all the joys winter brings me, but also leaves me feeling a little tinge of sadness as I know my weekends won’t be spent hitting the slopes.

But just as the seasons change so does life. I love everything I do and I am excited about my future. So, at this time in my life I will learn to simply enjoy the beauty of the snow without riding it down the mountain.

“You are so flexible it’s disgusting…”

This comment came out of my roommate’s mouth last night.

I was lying in bed, one foot by my head the other stretched out long in front of me. I’m not sure what I was doing, just lying there and stretching. I really am oddly flexible but it’s nothing I can take credit for in any sort of prideful way…

I was just born naturally flexible.

But it got me thinking….

God has created each of us so incredibly unique. He built each of us differently… some naturally flexible, others not so much. Some… skilled athletes, others not so much. Some naturally intelligent, others…well you know where I’m going with that. The point being we’re all wired a little bit differently. My dream of working for the Rockies could sound completely dreadful to somebody else.  I think our individuality shines light on how multifaceted God really is…

However, we were all created by the same God and that gives us something in common. He created us to need each other, learn from each other, and challenge each other.

Another dream I am pursing…

                The most important dream I could ever pursue…

                                                        Is to become a SOLID WOMAN of God

Knowing God more intimately allows me to understand myself more fully. I deeply desire to have Christ be the solid foundation on which I live my life. I said “I DO” to Jesus 7 years ago and I am in it for better or for worse! If not a single dream of mine comes to pass… God is still God…and I will be okay knowing, that if I am pursuing the lover of my soul, I will be guided into a life full of risk, adventure, excitement and unmatched fulfillment.

These are the women in the Bible study I lead… They are beautiful and they challenge me everyday… to know God more fully, to seek wisdom, knowledge, and understanding.

 I am grateful for the things I have been blessed to do and the direction God is taking my life. I want to live in expectation…

                With a willingness to dream as big as God dreams.

A Big Dream.

               I am a dreamer…

I dare to dream because I believe in a life that is saturated in the divine. Passion propels my life in a million different directions. It’s an adventurous, risky, and awe inspiring journey I am on. I am thankful that I get to live this life. It’s not an easy one though, but the view at the top certainly makes the climb worth it. You know what I am talking about…

Let me paint a picture of one of my many dreams for you…

 

Coors Field…A Field Of Dreams….

                As a freshman in high school I dreamed of being a sideline sports reporter…. Now, 7 years later that dream has been reborn. Doubt drowned this dream of mine for many years but now I am ready to chase it harder than ever. My sincere appreciate goes out to my incredible step-father for helping rekindle this long lost dream. It happened this past July when I attended my first Colorado Rockies game. My step-dad Andy and I sat behind home plate way up in the nose bleed section. The smell of hot dogs, popcorn, the crack of the bat against the 95mph fast balls, the roar of  Rockies fans when we’d score a run, the voice of the announcers recalling the game play-by-play….

                                Something inside me clicked.

I was if God was whispering, “remember that dream you had…remember your how excited you used to be about sports…remember what you wanted to do before doubt flooded your heart…” Yes, I did remember, I remembered it clearly. My inner cheerleader was loud and proud that game. Andy and I had an absolute riot… I asked Andy questions the entire game… what’s does ERA, RBI, AVG stand for? We sat, he explained, we cheered, he explained more, we watched intently, he continued to explain the game and before we knew it the night was over. Rockies hit a walk off home run for the win and I was hooked.

                It clicked that night… The 2 ½ hour drive home was full of conversation…mainly me asking Andy why he had never introduced me to baseball before…Why didn’t he tell me it was such a riot!?! Needless to say, two days later we were back at Coors Field! This time we sat club level and enjoyed seeing players a whole deck closer. This game was just as fun as the previous one. My summer was spent working, chunkin’ away at my degree, and going to baseball games.

Slowly, God was speaking confidence into the dream he placed in my heart so many years before. As a junior in college, I am getting anxious to be done with school and dive into my career! I am ready to start…Ready to work for the Rockies… Working in the marketing and promotions department while I continue to train as a reporter is the direction I am headed. I know God will open and close doors as I continue to confidently journey onward.

More than anything I am thankful that my ability to dream has been restored. The difficulties and the competition ahead are inevitable, but today I choose to dream…to chase hard after those dreams and to surrender my life to the purpose of God, confident that he will put me exactly where I need to be.

What are some of your dreams? I’d love to hear about them…

Andy and I at my first Rockies Game

Time for Revival

There is POWER in prayer…

Something I have always wanted to do but never actually done is start a prayer meeting. I find when I wake up in the mornings and rush into my day without spending adequate time with the Lord I become absolutely vulnerable. Vulnerable to the enemy…”He prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8)…” He makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs “GET BEHIND ME SATIN!” I believe in the power of God but so often I fail to call on Him. I fail to turn my life and will over to him…He desires our communion.

                If you don’t pray you don’t have a relationship with God.

Prayer is the essence of our relationship with Jesus. If I never spoke to my roommate I wouldn’t know anything about her and definitely wouldn’t have any kind of relationship with her. We share our hearts with each other, ask each other questions, and we spend time listening intently to what the other has to say. We are appreciative of the other’s love and even when we don’t have anything to say we find fulfillment just being in each other’s presence.  This is exactly what Jesus longs for from us. He wants to hear the depth of our hearts. He wants to whisper into our soul words that bring healing, revival, and peace.

                Time…

                                Time to talk with Him.

Taking time out of the business of our lives to sit in his presence will undoubtedly bring RENEWAL.

“Behold I am making all things new (Rev. 21:5)…”

There are people in my life who DESPERATELY need the power of God working in their lives. I certainly know I do. My life is non-stop and I struggle deeply with issues that only God can heal. I am desperate for him…I deeply deeply need him. Lately, my prayer has been to become a solid woman of God. I want to be firm, steadfast, full of wisdom, encouragement, and love for others. I can only be all these things if I abide in Christ; the creator of all these qualities. One of the most challenging spiritual disciplines for me has always been prayer. A busy girl with a full schedule…quieting my mind to speak to the one my heart longs for…I must discipline myself.

God has always been ready. Ready and patiently waiting.

                Now I am ready…Ready to PRAY…to be with the lover of my soul…

Please joing me, I’d be honored to go to Jesus with you.

HERE ARE THE DETAILS:

-Weekly prayer meeting—Prayer for anything and everything. (We should expect God to do BIG things if we call on him…This is faith)

-Anybody and everybody is welcome to come (guys and girls alike)

-Will be hosted random locations each week

-TOMORROW (11/7/10) it will be at 7am at Lorie and Duncan’s house. Facebook me for directions and/or details

Let’s make time for the quiet moments, as God whispers and the world is loud.

Attractive God?

While I was driving down the highway in Minot, North Dakota. Yes..God is POWERFUL

Is God attractive? …. I don’t know, but I think so…

One of the biggest things I struggle with in my relationship with Jesus is the idea that He is boring, bland, and all about do’s and don’ts. As a spontaneous, crazy, adventurous college girl I hate the idea of serving a God who is plain…

Just a few weeks ago, I realized something simple. Real simple. If God truly is the creator of all things that must mean he created me…DUH, I know! But realizing that truth revealed something much deeper about God’s character.  He wouldn’t create something that is not in his likeness.  In order to bring himself the most glory, he created us in his image, which is PERFECTION…. Perfection….

Adventurous. Risk-seeking. And Wild at Heart….This is my internal.

I used to think that life with God was a continuous battle. A battle to change ‘self’ to be more like God. But he created ‘self.’ He created us. I don’t think the answer is necessarily changing self (changing the sin in ‘self’….ABSOLUTELY!!!) … Don’t get me wrong, I know that we as humans have this disease called sin and that is our constant battle. But when God created us in his image he created us perfect. He didn’t screw up. Not even a little bit. For me, this must mean he created me adventurous, spontaneous, and high-energy. And if he created me in his image, he must also possess those very same character traits.

He must be ATTACTIVE.

Where does beauty come from? The idea that everything good is from God leads us to believe the things we think are beautiful must be from him. I see beauty in adventure. Clearly this proves that he is the furthest thing from boring and bland. He made me…and I’m not boring and bland. So he must be a zillion times more crazy and wild than I could ever dream of being… Now that’s a fun thought!

I have hunch. What if God’s goal for our lives is not for us to deny who we are, but rather to surrender who he made us to be back to him- for His glory and purpose.  Does that make sense? Not a self denial…but a self surrender. Denial of sin…Yes. Denial of self…I don’t think so. Of course we need to be measuring our character with God’s truth-which is made clear in the Bible- but I think we need to be confident in who we are. Who God created us to be. Honoring him with our character traits and realizing he is an absolute stud is freeing. When he creates he doesn’t make mistakes.

Let’s take who he’s made us to be and what he’s given us, and give it back to him! It’s powerful. Because he’s powerful.

I Have a Disease.

 The disease of self… self consumed, concerned. Inwardly focused and driven. It’s sickening.

I was walking to class today, flustered and frustrated at the world. I was tired and I couldn’t get my hair to do what I wanted…girls, I know you understand me on this one. Just last night I went to the beauty school in town and had them cut and color my hair.

**Side Note** For those of you who don’t know me I love hair…I use lots of product and like BIG hair; I tease my hair every day. I would fit in perfect in the 60’s. Anyways, the point is that I do care about my hair, so getting it done at a school was definitely a risk. But when you’re in college and money is tight, you gotta do what ya gotta do. So I marched into the beauty school nervous but desperately in need of the services they had to offer. I sat down in Heather’s chair and told her I exactly what I wanted….Fast forward 4 ½ hours….. Finally I was done. By the time she had finished it was 9:30 and I had completely missed The Outpost (a ministry on campus that meets weekly to worship and study God). She asked if I wanted her to style my new do, but by this time I was exhausted, so I left with flat, partially wet hair.

Back to the story…

I woke up today frazzled, tired, and after styling my hair, I realized my bangs had been hacked to pieces. Ugh…why did I take the cheap route? My morning devotionals were rushed and my mind was wandering. I wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around either. My roommate tried to make conversation with me but I didn’t offer much in response. After clipping my hair back and packing my backpack I flew out the door. I sped to campus, parked in the 1 hour meter parking, and started power walking to class.

Suddenly in the mist of my frustration…I heard it. God. “You have a deadly disease. It’s name: self-consumption.”

I had allowed a bunch of minuscule situations to completely throw me off. My day, which is really the day that the Lord had made and certainly has a purpose for, was so unfocused because of all my self- focus. If I had been living in God’s truth…the one that says I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)- I would have not been nearly as affected by my bad hair-do, exhausted body, or lack of motivation to attend my one and only Friday class.

God’s truth absolutely changes everything!

Why is it so hard to stay focused on that? Once I choose to see things through God’s eyes my day took a 180 degree turn. I felt a wave of patience, peace, and clarity that I had been without earlier, fall over me. God took care of me the rest of the day. Loving me back into his presence and showing me that I was precious in his eyes all the time. Hacked bangs or perfect hair day…he doesn’t care. He sees the attitude of our hearts and that is freeing.

A wise friend told me: When we live confidently in our God-given purposes, we not only find true, deep fulfillment, we also bless all those around us.

I wasn’t living the life God called me to this morning. Centered on myself caused me to lose sight of the people around me who may have been blessed just to receive a friendly smile. This disease is BAD. It steals life and joy.

May we be God centered, not self centered people.

P.S. God even fixed my hair…well not himself but I was able to get into an upscale hair studio in town later this afternoon and they fixed it all for FREE. Hummm… think about it.